How to talk to a man about sex?

Talking with your partner is very beneficial to a healthy relationship letting him know your dislikes and boundaries. Sex is a process determined by instincts, meaning you don't need to be an expert. Everything would work itself out if our sexual life were subject only to the intuition of reproduction. For some couples, the process is a bit more complicated. When we get to know each other, there is a simple way to have great sex: communicate, give and enjoy.

Everyone is different, so here are a few steps to help you open up to each other and share your desires with your partner without too much embarrassment.

1. Go through your thoughts before talking to your partner by answering these four questions. Suppose you've realised that you are not satisfied with your sex life. Now you need to understand what exactly is wrong. Is it frequency? No orgasm? Boring "mechanical" sex? These are the first questions you need to ask yourself.

The next question to ask yourself is, how would I like it? In general, at the first stage, it is crucial to deal with your request internally and seek an understanding of your partner afterwards.

2. Try dropping the constraint; sex is still more or less taboo today. We are embarrassed to talk about it. We can be afraid to admit what exactly we want and desire. For some, it's just a very personal matter, so personal that you dont feel comfortable sharing it with your partner. It's time to discard the constraint! (at least reduce as much as possible). Talking about sex and doing it is not to be ashamed.

Start a conversation with distant things like: did you like it or not? What exactly did you like? And then you can say your first "I want ..." it's worth communicating either during sex or immediately after, in a relaxed atmosphere, not to create an impression of "debriefing".

It would be best to let your partner know how you like it and what feels good. For example, during sex, you can ask, "show me where you want me to kiss you" or "where do you want me to touch you".

Here are some examples of softening the conversation, not offending the partner and not undermining the trust between each other.

"I don't have an orgasm" and replace it with

"I don't always have an orgasm, I wish we paid more attention to this..." or "You don't know how to caress" replace it with "I would like it if we could try foreplay like..."

"Everything has become too repetitive" to "I would like to try something new! What about..." and so on.

3. Learn to speak directly: A big mistake many couples make is trying to explain what they want with hints that they may be misunderstood or completely wrong. If words are still difficult to say, you can communicate non-verbally. Take the initiative in your hands. Gently move his/her hands if it feels unconformable, and choose the position during sex where you get the most pleasure.

4. Find out what your partner wants: One of the most straightforward and enjoyable stages is that observation during sex will be enough. Pay attention to what gives you the most pleasure. It will become clear if you track sounds, breathing, body movements and if you feel lucky, requests where you want to be touched.

Perhaps it's time to try the beginner's sex toys or implement role-playing scenarios, change your usual bed, at least for a kitchen table or a bathroom. The following step would be asking specific questions or making something fun! like a survey. The final is the embodiment of fantasies!

Some answers in a relationship can be challenging to resolve on their own for various reasons: the unwillingness of one of the partners, the inability to find a common language or fear, so visiting a sexologist or sexual adviser is very healthy in a relationship. Specialists are always ready to help! They will help solve your problems and bring passion back into a relationship.